As if a broken bone wasn't enough excitement for our family for a week, I got to experience my own ER visit and hospital stay Memorial Day weekend.
Friday morning, we had an appointment with the orthopedist for Emmalyn's collar bone. We were told that the bone would heal on its own and straighten out eventually over the next few years. She needs to wear a sling for a couple more weeks. Overall, it is pretty good news, and she isn't hindered too much by the arm. She likes to see the x-ray of her broken "cowar bone." She won't get on any trampolines anytime soon, though. It is a little tough to hold down a three-year-old!
After the doctor's visit, I went to Walmart because we were out of children's Advil and prenatal vitamins. As I was walking through the store, my left leg began to feel really heavy and strange. By the time I got home, the leg was very swollen, from the hip to the toes. I rested for the afternoon and kept it propped, but after Emmalyn's nap, I had a good deal of pain in my left hip when walking. I finally called my doctor's office to report my symptoms about 4:00 p.m. I got a return call, and my doctor wanted me to head to the local ER for an ultrasound of my leg to determine if there was a clot. He warned me that if a clot was present, I would need daily shots. I was really hoping it wasn't the case.
We dropped Emmalyn off to play with some friends and arrived at the ER a little after 6:00 p.m. We had to wait for an ultrasound tech to return, and I had the ultrasound about 8:00 p.m. The doctor let us know there was a partial blockage in my upper thigh, and I needed to be admitted. After some time, we learned I was being sent to the larger hospital nearby where my doctors work. We made arrangements for my sister to get Emmalyn, and I got my first ride in an ambulance. It wasn't too bad; it was the quickest trip to Albany I've had in a while! I arrived about 11:00 p.m.; Stephen went by our house to grab some staples for our stay and met me there. I first went to the labor and delivery floor to a room. The baby's heart rate was monitored, and I wasn't having contractions. Baby James did not like being squeezed by the monitors, and he continuously kicked for as long as they were on! After being reassured that the baby was fine, I was transferred to the hematology/oncology floor about 3:00 a.m. I received my first shot of Lovenox at 4:00 a.m. It burned like crazy! Needless to say, I didn't get much rest Friday night.
I saw doctors from my ob's office and the oncologist on duty Saturday morning. She explained that I would get the shot every 12 hours, and the clot would gradually dissolve. I need shots for the next 6 months. The clot is likely due to chemo, cancer and/or pregnancy. They usually don't occur under age 40, but I have a few risk factors. I am just turning into an old woman!
We had our families visit Saturday, and I spent another night in the hospital. My oncologist came for a visit Sunday morning. He said I would learn how to give myself daily shots of Arixtra, and I could go home. I hoped to be out of there before lunch, but it was 4:00 p.m. before we left because only one person was on duty for releases for the holiday weekend. I was very glad to go! I do not miss being woken up several times a night so they could take my vitals and give me a shot. The food was as bad as advertised, too.
My leg still hurts to walk, and it swells after standing for just a few minutes. My doctor said it will take a few days to get relief. I have given myself a shot for the past three days. The needles are pretty small, and the Arixtra seems to not burn afterward as much as the Lovenox did, fortunately. The nurse suggested that Stephen learn to give me shots, but I haven't let him try it yet. I am afraid I would just resent him for sticking me, so I'd prefer to do it myself.
This has all been a great adventure, and I am just along for the ride. I was never anxious about the situation, even though I know some deep vein thrombosis (clots) can travel to the lungs and cause death. I think over the years, doctors have learned that it is not dangerous to move the leg, as once thought. My only setback at the moment is my own pain tolerance. I am still taking it easy. As usual, we are very blessed by the prayers, meals, etc., from friends and family. I hope not to have any more "adventures" in the near future!
I am trying to keep in mind these versus through my many adventures...
"Bless the LORD, O my soul,
And all that is within me, bless His holy name.
Bless the LORD, O my soul,
And forget none of His benefits;
Who pardons all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases;
Who redeems your life from the pit,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion;
Who satisfies your years with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle." (Psalm 103:1-5 NASB)
I pray that my youth is renewed soon!
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
More Adventures!
I had my fourth round of chemo this Monday. It went well, and I still feel good. I also saw my ob, and the baby is growing well. He is moving all the time! Stephen has been able to feel him a few times. I love feeling the little kicks! I'll have another ultrasound at the next visit. I picked out potential paint colors for the baby's room and Emmalyn's new room (we're moving her to the guest room), so we will have a few projects this summer.
Poor Emmalyn has not fared so well this week, however. She was visiting at her grandparents' house so I could rest for a day or two, and she fell off her bed yesterday morning. She was not herself and didn't want to move her right arm, so when she got home last night, we took her to her first ER visit. X-ray confirmed a broken collar bone. She has a cute little sling, but we will see an orthopedist this afternoon or tomorrow to get the bone straightened. Thankfully, they'll sedate her for that. I couldn't handle them moving it if she were conscious! She is being a tough, brave, sweet girl. She got to eat ice cream for breakfast and is chilling on the couch watching her favorite shows. I hope it won't interrupt too much of her summer fun!
In other news, we were blessed with a beach vacation over Mother's Day weekend. A sweet family let us use their beautiful house on St. George Island. The weather was a little overcast and windy, but it didn't phase our beach baby. She had a wonderful time chasing waves and sea birds and destroying sandcastles. We ate good food and left refreshed. I received my first pair of Crocs, a new purse, sunglasses, and slippers from my hubby and daughter. I am a very blessed mom!
"O come, let us sing for joy to the LORD, Let us shout joyfully to the rock of our salvation. Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving, Let us shout joyfully to Him with psalms. For the LORD is a great God And a great King above all gods, In whose hand are the depths of the earth, The peaks of the mountains are His also. The sea is His, for it was He who made it, And His hands formed the dry land. Come, let us worship and bow down, Let us kneel before the LORD our Maker. For He is our God, And we are the people of His pasture and the sheep of His hand." (Psalm 95:1-7 NASB)
Poor Emmalyn has not fared so well this week, however. She was visiting at her grandparents' house so I could rest for a day or two, and she fell off her bed yesterday morning. She was not herself and didn't want to move her right arm, so when she got home last night, we took her to her first ER visit. X-ray confirmed a broken collar bone. She has a cute little sling, but we will see an orthopedist this afternoon or tomorrow to get the bone straightened. Thankfully, they'll sedate her for that. I couldn't handle them moving it if she were conscious! She is being a tough, brave, sweet girl. She got to eat ice cream for breakfast and is chilling on the couch watching her favorite shows. I hope it won't interrupt too much of her summer fun!
In other news, we were blessed with a beach vacation over Mother's Day weekend. A sweet family let us use their beautiful house on St. George Island. The weather was a little overcast and windy, but it didn't phase our beach baby. She had a wonderful time chasing waves and sea birds and destroying sandcastles. We ate good food and left refreshed. I received my first pair of Crocs, a new purse, sunglasses, and slippers from my hubby and daughter. I am a very blessed mom!
"O come, let us sing for joy to the LORD, Let us shout joyfully to the rock of our salvation. Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving, Let us shout joyfully to Him with psalms. For the LORD is a great God And a great King above all gods, In whose hand are the depths of the earth, The peaks of the mountains are His also. The sea is His, for it was He who made it, And His hands formed the dry land. Come, let us worship and bow down, Let us kneel before the LORD our Maker. For He is our God, And we are the people of His pasture and the sheep of His hand." (Psalm 95:1-7 NASB)
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Our Little Miracle
My third round of treatment went off without a hitch yesterday. I feel good today, except Emmalyn awoke with a stomach virus about 2:00 am. We didn't get much sleep. Stephen has taken care of her, and she is feeling good this morning, but I am praying Stephen nor I catch it! Stomach bugs are the worst things ever!
We got a treat after lunch yesterday...our midpoint diagnostic ultrasound! The baby boy looks great! His head, heart, kidneys, stomach, bladder, spine, arms, legs, mouth, and nose look normal and healthy. Praise the Lord! I was a Ittle anxious about everything looking okay. The heartrate was 155 bpm. His weight is about 9 ounces, and his size is on track for our due date. So far, there are no signs of the chemo affecting the baby! I am relieved and grateful.
Emmalyn is pretty excited. She has been calling the baby her baby brother for several weeks now. I guess she had a hunch. She loves looking at the ultrasound pictures and picking out the head and body parts. Her first question when we got home yesterday was, "Has my baby brother hatched yet from your belly?" I guess she is as anxious for him to arrive as we are. She will be a great big sister!
We have had a boy name decided on since before Emmalyn was born. We will name him "James" Edward Snyder. James is in memory of my little brother, James Thomas "Tom" Hall. He was named for our grandfather, James "Cecil" Hall. Tom was a great brother...funny, quiet, sweet, athletic, smart, and had a heart for the Lord. And though he passed away 9 1/2 years ago at the age of 14, I still miss him so much! He would love his nieces and nephews! My grandfather was also very special to me. He was hard-working, kind, and loving. Edward is Stephen's middle name. He was named for his grandfather, Gordon Edward "Ed" Snyder. Stephen describes him as caring, loving, and wise.
I feel the name already describes him. James means "supplanter." In our hearts, minds, hopes, and prayers, James has somewhat replaced the cancer. Instead of dweling on my diagnosis and worrisome treatments, I can plan the baby's room and shop for little blue clothes. Edward means "happy, prosperous guardian." I pray that he will be kind, gentle, selfless, courageous, strong, smart, thoughtful, and, most importantly, that he will love the Lord. I can't wait to meet him and see what God has in store for his life! Our little miracle is such a blessing!
"O LORD, You have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You understand my thought from afar. You scrutinize my path and my lying down, And are intimately acquainted with all my ways. Even before there is a word on my tongue, Behold, O LORD, You know it all. You have enclosed me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is too high, I cannot attain to it. Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend to heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the dawn, If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea, Even there Your hand will lead me, And Your right hand will lay hold of me. If I say, "Surely the darkness will overwhelm me, And the light around me will be night," Even the darkness is not dark to You, And the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to You. For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written The days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand. When I awake, I am still with You." (Psalm 139:1-18 NASB)
We got a treat after lunch yesterday...our midpoint diagnostic ultrasound! The baby boy looks great! His head, heart, kidneys, stomach, bladder, spine, arms, legs, mouth, and nose look normal and healthy. Praise the Lord! I was a Ittle anxious about everything looking okay. The heartrate was 155 bpm. His weight is about 9 ounces, and his size is on track for our due date. So far, there are no signs of the chemo affecting the baby! I am relieved and grateful.
Rubbing his head.
Handsome little face!
Cute little feet!
Emmalyn is pretty excited. She has been calling the baby her baby brother for several weeks now. I guess she had a hunch. She loves looking at the ultrasound pictures and picking out the head and body parts. Her first question when we got home yesterday was, "Has my baby brother hatched yet from your belly?" I guess she is as anxious for him to arrive as we are. She will be a great big sister!
We have had a boy name decided on since before Emmalyn was born. We will name him "James" Edward Snyder. James is in memory of my little brother, James Thomas "Tom" Hall. He was named for our grandfather, James "Cecil" Hall. Tom was a great brother...funny, quiet, sweet, athletic, smart, and had a heart for the Lord. And though he passed away 9 1/2 years ago at the age of 14, I still miss him so much! He would love his nieces and nephews! My grandfather was also very special to me. He was hard-working, kind, and loving. Edward is Stephen's middle name. He was named for his grandfather, Gordon Edward "Ed" Snyder. Stephen describes him as caring, loving, and wise.
I feel the name already describes him. James means "supplanter." In our hearts, minds, hopes, and prayers, James has somewhat replaced the cancer. Instead of dweling on my diagnosis and worrisome treatments, I can plan the baby's room and shop for little blue clothes. Edward means "happy, prosperous guardian." I pray that he will be kind, gentle, selfless, courageous, strong, smart, thoughtful, and, most importantly, that he will love the Lord. I can't wait to meet him and see what God has in store for his life! Our little miracle is such a blessing!
"O LORD, You have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You understand my thought from afar. You scrutinize my path and my lying down, And are intimately acquainted with all my ways. Even before there is a word on my tongue, Behold, O LORD, You know it all. You have enclosed me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is too high, I cannot attain to it. Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend to heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the dawn, If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea, Even there Your hand will lead me, And Your right hand will lay hold of me. If I say, "Surely the darkness will overwhelm me, And the light around me will be night," Even the darkness is not dark to You, And the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to You. For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written The days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand. When I awake, I am still with You." (Psalm 139:1-18 NASB)
Monday, April 23, 2012
New Hair Day
Last week, I had a chance to attend the "Look Good, Feel Better" program at the hospital, sponsored by the American Cancer Society. There were five other ladies there who were in chemo, recently finished, or about to start. We received a big bag of makeup goodies that had been donated by companies such as Clinique, Mary Kay, and Cover Girl. A local beautician walked us through steps of applying each item, with specific tips, like how to draw on eyebrows. We learned a few things and had several laughs. They even had a few wigs. Several of us tried them on, and I was encouraged to take home a long blonde wig. They were free from the American Cancer Society. Who knew? I'm not sure that I will ever wear it anywhere, but when I voiced my concern, another lady replied that I can wear it to Walmart. That's true, I guess! The other ladies claimed I looked like Carrie Underwood with it on. I have also been told that I look like an exotic European lady with my scarf on. Who knows what other personas I may acquire? Anyway, each of the ladies looked beautiful and left with a smile on their face from the session. It is a great program, and I encourage anyone else in my situation to take advantage of it.
I had one moment of discouragement last week. Emmalyn and I were trying to park in the extremely tight and crowded parking lot at the recreation fields to watch Stephen's softball game. As I pulled into a space, I scraped the bumper of another suv that was over the line, in my defense. I parked and decided to find Stephen to help me. Someone assumed the worst of me and reported me to a deputy who was watching his son's game. I explained that I had all intentions of following through with finding the other driver. I was embarrassed, and my pride was broken. We got the report filed, and the other driver was pretty nice. It was my first "wreck" in 15 years of driving. But, as Stephen said, that's why we have insurance. The other driver's repairs are covered, thankfully.
Speaking of insurance, I am so grateful for our health insurance. We received a bill for the first chemo session. It was over $7,600! We have met our deductible for the year, so we owe nothing. Wow!
I am pretty accustomed to wearing scarves now. One day last week, I drove down our street and realized I didn't have anything on my head. I turned around quickly! I didn't want to give anyone a fright! Stephen and Emmalyn are used to my bald head at home. At church yesterday, several friends wore head scarves as a show of support for me. I was overwhelmed by their kindness. I thought it was a very sweet gesture. A couple of kids pointed out that I was wearing a scarf like their moms, too. It made me smile. I felt very loved. The sermon was on brotherly love, too.
"Let love of the brethren continue." (Hebrews 13:1 NASB)
"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." (John 13:34, 35 NASB)
"We love, because He first loved us." (1 John 4:19 NASB)
"For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38, 39 NASB)
In other news, we find out what we are having next Monday! I think I am feeling a few flutters. It's hard to know if it is the baby or just other bodily functions. I will have my third chemo session that morning. I am assuming that I will feel just as well after that treatment. We will have some exciting news to celebrate, anyway! I continue to be blessed and encouraged by all the notes, gifts, and meals we have received. I am very grateful!
I had one moment of discouragement last week. Emmalyn and I were trying to park in the extremely tight and crowded parking lot at the recreation fields to watch Stephen's softball game. As I pulled into a space, I scraped the bumper of another suv that was over the line, in my defense. I parked and decided to find Stephen to help me. Someone assumed the worst of me and reported me to a deputy who was watching his son's game. I explained that I had all intentions of following through with finding the other driver. I was embarrassed, and my pride was broken. We got the report filed, and the other driver was pretty nice. It was my first "wreck" in 15 years of driving. But, as Stephen said, that's why we have insurance. The other driver's repairs are covered, thankfully.
Speaking of insurance, I am so grateful for our health insurance. We received a bill for the first chemo session. It was over $7,600! We have met our deductible for the year, so we owe nothing. Wow!
I am pretty accustomed to wearing scarves now. One day last week, I drove down our street and realized I didn't have anything on my head. I turned around quickly! I didn't want to give anyone a fright! Stephen and Emmalyn are used to my bald head at home. At church yesterday, several friends wore head scarves as a show of support for me. I was overwhelmed by their kindness. I thought it was a very sweet gesture. A couple of kids pointed out that I was wearing a scarf like their moms, too. It made me smile. I felt very loved. The sermon was on brotherly love, too.
"Let love of the brethren continue." (Hebrews 13:1 NASB)
"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." (John 13:34, 35 NASB)
"We love, because He first loved us." (1 John 4:19 NASB)
"For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38, 39 NASB)
In other news, we find out what we are having next Monday! I think I am feeling a few flutters. It's hard to know if it is the baby or just other bodily functions. I will have my third chemo session that morning. I am assuming that I will feel just as well after that treatment. We will have some exciting news to celebrate, anyway! I continue to be blessed and encouraged by all the notes, gifts, and meals we have received. I am very grateful!
Friday, April 13, 2012
No Hair Day!
I love my little girl so much! She is such a joy to me! She had a great time this Easter season with several egg hunts and parties with friends. She loves to talk about Jesus, too!
I started my second round of chemo Monday. It has gone much the same as the last time...no stomach issues, good appetite, a little tired, but nothing too unusual. I praise the Lord for these good days. I also heard the baby's heartbeat Monday. It was 154-156 bpm. We will have the "big" ultrasound on the 30th. I am so excited to find out what we're having!
I have experienced my biggest change so far. My hair gradually started falling out last Wednesday, April 4, on day 17 after my first treatment. The loss was slow, steady, and painless. It was pretty strange to run my fingers through my hair and have so much come out. Yesterday (April 12), I could really tell how thin it had gotten. I decided to bite the bullet and get rid of the mess. We borrowed some clippers, and Stephen buzzed it off.
We wanted Emmalyn to watch so that she could understand and not be scared by the change. At first, she was excited about helping to cut my hair like Rapunzel in one of her favorite movies. By the end, however, she got upset. It broke my heart to see her cry. We cuddled and tickled, and before bed, she said, "Your fuzzy hair is so funny." She has only mentioned my "fuzzy head" once today. I thank God that kids are so adaptable. I'm still just her mom! She helped me pick out a couple of new scarves online this morning. I will say that bald heads are pretty cold. I'm sure I won't mind it so much over the hot summer! I have had to do a few double-takes in the mirror today. Stephen says that my head has a nice shape :). I think I will prefer scarves and hats. It is definitely something I'll have to get used to, but I just don't want to stand out too much in a crowd. I've never been one to try out new fashions. Maybe I'll set a new trend.
I thought this was a fitting passage to share as a reminder of how much God cares about us...
Are not two sparrows sold for a cent? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows. (Matthew 10:29-31 NASB)
Stephen just sent me a dozen roses. I love him, too!
She loved the Flying Easter Bunny experience!
Her pretty new Easter dress.
Decorating eggs with her best friends.
I have experienced my biggest change so far. My hair gradually started falling out last Wednesday, April 4, on day 17 after my first treatment. The loss was slow, steady, and painless. It was pretty strange to run my fingers through my hair and have so much come out. Yesterday (April 12), I could really tell how thin it had gotten. I decided to bite the bullet and get rid of the mess. We borrowed some clippers, and Stephen buzzed it off.
We wanted Emmalyn to watch so that she could understand and not be scared by the change. At first, she was excited about helping to cut my hair like Rapunzel in one of her favorite movies. By the end, however, she got upset. It broke my heart to see her cry. We cuddled and tickled, and before bed, she said, "Your fuzzy hair is so funny." She has only mentioned my "fuzzy head" once today. I thank God that kids are so adaptable. I'm still just her mom! She helped me pick out a couple of new scarves online this morning. I will say that bald heads are pretty cold. I'm sure I won't mind it so much over the hot summer! I have had to do a few double-takes in the mirror today. Stephen says that my head has a nice shape :). I think I will prefer scarves and hats. It is definitely something I'll have to get used to, but I just don't want to stand out too much in a crowd. I've never been one to try out new fashions. Maybe I'll set a new trend.
I thought this was a fitting passage to share as a reminder of how much God cares about us...
Are not two sparrows sold for a cent? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows. (Matthew 10:29-31 NASB)
Stephen just sent me a dozen roses. I love him, too!
Monday, March 26, 2012
How Did I Get Here?
Well, one week down, and I feel normal. I did not have any noticeable side effects from the first round. I had a "Day 8" dose of 5FU today, and I still feel ok. Either the preventative drugs are miracle-workers, or I have a digestive system of steel. In either case, God is so good, and I praise Him for this blessing. I also appreciate all the prayers, cards, food, flowers, and gifts from friends and family. We are so grateful. We spent the week enjoying the glorious weather and flowers.
I visited my local hospital that is in affiliation with my main hospital for my dose today. The facilities were really nice, and the staff was great, again. I had a couple of nurses and volunteers come to me to say that I was on their church prayer lists.
I would like to give a little of the background story of my journey so far, in part to offer a word of advice and encouragement to not ignore any health issues that may be bothering you. I apologize for the novel-length!
About five years ago, I had a few lumps in my breasts that were unusual. I mentioned it to my gyn, who ordered an ultrasound. They were determined to be fibrous tissue and nothing to be worried about. I had a follow-up ultrasound six months later with the same results. My mind was at ease. Fast-forward a couple of years, and I have my daughter. I nursed her for a year, and any strange places I felt in my breasts, I attributed to nursing or the fibrous places. I did not have a breast exam that year at my check-up because I was nursing. For the next couple of years, I did not schedule my yearly physical because I didn't feel like going. I mean, who likes to sign up to be poked and prodded? And, I was relatively "healthy and young."
We decided that Emmalyn needed a little sibling, so we hoped to get pregnant in late 2010. It took us several months to get a positive result, but we were thrilled in April 2011. However, we had a miscarriage in May of 2011. My progesterone levels were low, and might have contributed to the miscarriage. It was something that could be helped in the future. We tried a few more months unsuccessfully. I also had been noticing that the rather-evident lump in my right breast was a little tender, as was a spot under my arm, especially before my periods. I could no longer feel the other lumps that had been there years ago. It started to really weigh on my mind. I also wanted to talk to the doctor about progesterone supplements, so I finally made an appointment for a physical in late November 2011.
As the doctor proceeded with the exam and felt the lump, I explained that I had a history of fibrous lumps that were of no concern. He wanted it to be investigated right away and made an appointment with a surgeon so that if the surgeon felt a mammogram was needed, insurance would likely pay for it. I didn't even bring up the progesterone issue.
I met with a surgeon a couple of weeks later. He told us that he likes to remove lumps from breasts in any case, because they shouldn't be there, and you can stay ahead of the game. I scheduled the ultrasound and mammogram for January 3. I was given an envelope with the results from the radiologist to give to the surgeon for the biopsy. I didn't want to read the report before the biopsy gave the full story, but Stephen looked and made me think I should look. The terminology said something to the effect of "highly suspicious of malignancy." I knew that wasn't good, but from that point forward, I had accepted the possibility that I could have cancer. The biopsy was performed on January 11. The surgeon deadened the area, cut a small hole, and shot a gun-type needle device through the lump three times to get cross-sections. The whole process was so weird! I'm just glad I couldn't feel any of it.
Meanwhile, I had a sinking suspicion that I could be pregnant. We had not been preventing pregnancy, but we had tried for so long, I didn't worry that we might get pregnant, and I didn't really believe that I could have cancer, either. To ease my mind, I took a home pregnancy test Friday, January 13. It looked faintly positive. I made a trip to the store to grab another test to be sure. It was faintly positive, too. I called Stephen to see when he might get home, and he said, "When are we due?" I guess he could tell something in my voice :) . I had so many mixed emotions, but in that first phone call, Stephen noticed my hesitancy, and he told me that it was okay to be happy. I knew then that the baby was a blessing, and that even if the biopsy was positive, I had already been given a gift.
The "results day" arrived on January 18. I told the nurse who took my vitals that I had a positive pregnancy test. Before the surgeon came in the room, I heard him speaking to the nurse about my news. Then, he didn't come into the room until some time later. He had called my ob/gyn, so he could send me over there after he gave me his news. The surgeon congratulated me on the pregnancy, and then said that, unfortunately, the biopsy showed cancerous cells. The lump seemed to be "in situ," estrogen- and progesterone-receptor positive, and about 3 cm. It seemed like favorable news, if it had to be cancer. He said he would set me up with the oncologist and radiologist he would send his wife to, if she had cancer. He also revealed that his wife was pregnant, too. We left his office in a fog. Stephen was pretty upset, but I had already decided that everything was in God's hands, and we would take it one day at a time. At the ob/gyn, we had an ultrasound to age the pregnancy. The technician couldn't see a baby; I was too early in the pregnancy. They took blood for pregnancy hormone levels, and we headed home, knowing I had cancer and unsure if I had a viable pregnancy. It was a pretty terrible day!
I met my oncologist and radiation oncologist on the 20th. My oncologist is fairly laid-back and friendly. He walked in and said,"So, what in the world is going on?" He laid out a good plan for us. He felt the node under my arm, and told us I was at least Stage II. He warned us that the radiation oncologist may encourage us to terminate the pregnancy, and he did. But, at least I don't have to see the radiation oncologist again until after the baby comes! Over the next few days, I had more pregnancy hormone tests, genetic counseling by telephone, and BRCA tests drawn. Thankfully, the BRCA results were normal, so my family can rest easier. We had another ultrasound, and we saw the tiny baby. My surgery was scheduled for February 7. I was 7 1/2 weeks along in the pregnancy. The surgeon felt I was a good candidate for a lumpectomy. I was grateful to have that decision made.
I was a little nervous about the surgery, but it was just another day on the great adventure! I got to see the inside of an operating room for the first time, and had my first experience with general anesthesia. I had the lump removed, with clear margins. He removed 19 lymph nodes under my arm and inserted a drain and life port. I wasn't in too much pain, but a day of not eating combined with pain pills made me sick. I was doing pretty well, otherwise. I got my pathology report on the 10th at my follow-up. 9 of the 19 lymph nodes were positive. The margins were clear on the 2.5 cm lump. I was Stage III.
The drain was a huge hassle. Two weeks after surgery, it was still draining a good bit, but the surgeon took it out. I spent another two weeks bandaging it because it continued to leak. March 7, one month after surgery, the drain site was finally healed, and I felt like a new woman! Overall, I am pleased about the surgery. I don't have to worry about reconstruction or prostheses, and the scars are not visible with clothes.
So, now I am in the next phase of treatment, the chemo. Through it all, I have peace that in the end, no matter what happens, I am safe in the arms of God. I have so many good days, and I am blessed with a great family. I love the words to the old hymn, "Great is Thy Faithfulness." Stephen and I chose this song to for our wedding and to represent our marriage and lives.
"Great is Thy faithfulness," O God my Father,
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not
As Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be.
Summer and winter, and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above,
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.
Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,
Thy own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!
Source: http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php/h/19#ixzz1qGodMV7F
I visited my local hospital that is in affiliation with my main hospital for my dose today. The facilities were really nice, and the staff was great, again. I had a couple of nurses and volunteers come to me to say that I was on their church prayer lists.
I would like to give a little of the background story of my journey so far, in part to offer a word of advice and encouragement to not ignore any health issues that may be bothering you. I apologize for the novel-length!
About five years ago, I had a few lumps in my breasts that were unusual. I mentioned it to my gyn, who ordered an ultrasound. They were determined to be fibrous tissue and nothing to be worried about. I had a follow-up ultrasound six months later with the same results. My mind was at ease. Fast-forward a couple of years, and I have my daughter. I nursed her for a year, and any strange places I felt in my breasts, I attributed to nursing or the fibrous places. I did not have a breast exam that year at my check-up because I was nursing. For the next couple of years, I did not schedule my yearly physical because I didn't feel like going. I mean, who likes to sign up to be poked and prodded? And, I was relatively "healthy and young."
We decided that Emmalyn needed a little sibling, so we hoped to get pregnant in late 2010. It took us several months to get a positive result, but we were thrilled in April 2011. However, we had a miscarriage in May of 2011. My progesterone levels were low, and might have contributed to the miscarriage. It was something that could be helped in the future. We tried a few more months unsuccessfully. I also had been noticing that the rather-evident lump in my right breast was a little tender, as was a spot under my arm, especially before my periods. I could no longer feel the other lumps that had been there years ago. It started to really weigh on my mind. I also wanted to talk to the doctor about progesterone supplements, so I finally made an appointment for a physical in late November 2011.
As the doctor proceeded with the exam and felt the lump, I explained that I had a history of fibrous lumps that were of no concern. He wanted it to be investigated right away and made an appointment with a surgeon so that if the surgeon felt a mammogram was needed, insurance would likely pay for it. I didn't even bring up the progesterone issue.
I met with a surgeon a couple of weeks later. He told us that he likes to remove lumps from breasts in any case, because they shouldn't be there, and you can stay ahead of the game. I scheduled the ultrasound and mammogram for January 3. I was given an envelope with the results from the radiologist to give to the surgeon for the biopsy. I didn't want to read the report before the biopsy gave the full story, but Stephen looked and made me think I should look. The terminology said something to the effect of "highly suspicious of malignancy." I knew that wasn't good, but from that point forward, I had accepted the possibility that I could have cancer. The biopsy was performed on January 11. The surgeon deadened the area, cut a small hole, and shot a gun-type needle device through the lump three times to get cross-sections. The whole process was so weird! I'm just glad I couldn't feel any of it.
Meanwhile, I had a sinking suspicion that I could be pregnant. We had not been preventing pregnancy, but we had tried for so long, I didn't worry that we might get pregnant, and I didn't really believe that I could have cancer, either. To ease my mind, I took a home pregnancy test Friday, January 13. It looked faintly positive. I made a trip to the store to grab another test to be sure. It was faintly positive, too. I called Stephen to see when he might get home, and he said, "When are we due?" I guess he could tell something in my voice :) . I had so many mixed emotions, but in that first phone call, Stephen noticed my hesitancy, and he told me that it was okay to be happy. I knew then that the baby was a blessing, and that even if the biopsy was positive, I had already been given a gift.
The "results day" arrived on January 18. I told the nurse who took my vitals that I had a positive pregnancy test. Before the surgeon came in the room, I heard him speaking to the nurse about my news. Then, he didn't come into the room until some time later. He had called my ob/gyn, so he could send me over there after he gave me his news. The surgeon congratulated me on the pregnancy, and then said that, unfortunately, the biopsy showed cancerous cells. The lump seemed to be "in situ," estrogen- and progesterone-receptor positive, and about 3 cm. It seemed like favorable news, if it had to be cancer. He said he would set me up with the oncologist and radiologist he would send his wife to, if she had cancer. He also revealed that his wife was pregnant, too. We left his office in a fog. Stephen was pretty upset, but I had already decided that everything was in God's hands, and we would take it one day at a time. At the ob/gyn, we had an ultrasound to age the pregnancy. The technician couldn't see a baby; I was too early in the pregnancy. They took blood for pregnancy hormone levels, and we headed home, knowing I had cancer and unsure if I had a viable pregnancy. It was a pretty terrible day!
I met my oncologist and radiation oncologist on the 20th. My oncologist is fairly laid-back and friendly. He walked in and said,"So, what in the world is going on?" He laid out a good plan for us. He felt the node under my arm, and told us I was at least Stage II. He warned us that the radiation oncologist may encourage us to terminate the pregnancy, and he did. But, at least I don't have to see the radiation oncologist again until after the baby comes! Over the next few days, I had more pregnancy hormone tests, genetic counseling by telephone, and BRCA tests drawn. Thankfully, the BRCA results were normal, so my family can rest easier. We had another ultrasound, and we saw the tiny baby. My surgery was scheduled for February 7. I was 7 1/2 weeks along in the pregnancy. The surgeon felt I was a good candidate for a lumpectomy. I was grateful to have that decision made.
I was a little nervous about the surgery, but it was just another day on the great adventure! I got to see the inside of an operating room for the first time, and had my first experience with general anesthesia. I had the lump removed, with clear margins. He removed 19 lymph nodes under my arm and inserted a drain and life port. I wasn't in too much pain, but a day of not eating combined with pain pills made me sick. I was doing pretty well, otherwise. I got my pathology report on the 10th at my follow-up. 9 of the 19 lymph nodes were positive. The margins were clear on the 2.5 cm lump. I was Stage III.
The drain was a huge hassle. Two weeks after surgery, it was still draining a good bit, but the surgeon took it out. I spent another two weeks bandaging it because it continued to leak. March 7, one month after surgery, the drain site was finally healed, and I felt like a new woman! Overall, I am pleased about the surgery. I don't have to worry about reconstruction or prostheses, and the scars are not visible with clothes.
So, now I am in the next phase of treatment, the chemo. Through it all, I have peace that in the end, no matter what happens, I am safe in the arms of God. I have so many good days, and I am blessed with a great family. I love the words to the old hymn, "Great is Thy Faithfulness." Stephen and I chose this song to for our wedding and to represent our marriage and lives.
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not
As Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be.
- "Great is Thy faithfulness!" "Great is Thy faithfulness!"
Morning by morning new mercies I see;
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided—
"Great is Thy faithfulness," Lord, unto me!
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above,
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.
Thy own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!
© 1923. Ren. 1951 Hope Publishing Co., Carol Stream, IL 60188
www.hopepublishing.com
www.hopepublishing.com
Source: http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php/h/19#ixzz1qGodMV7F
Monday, March 19, 2012
Day 1
I began chemo today. I got to the cancer center at 8 am and left about 2:30 pm. In that time, I had the port flushed, labs drawn, saw my doctor, had 2 drugs that hold off symptoms, three chemo drugs (a,c,5fu), and got educated. I got in a lot of reading and iPad time. As of now, I feel pretty good. I am tired from the long day, though. More symptoms may appear in a few days, but I have a couple of prescriptions that can help.We were blessed by the kindness of the doctor, nurses, other patients, and volunteers. My doctor's nurse let us know that she is praying for us and expecting a good outcome with us. My oncologist said he would like to go into battle with me, because of my attitude and peace. We were given a good lunch from the volunteers, and the chemo nurses were excited with us about the baby. One particular older man with lung cancer gave an uplifting "sermon" in the chemo waiting area; he feels led to bless others around him, and he knows God can perform a miracle at any time. He knows our bodies are but dust, but to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. He said he told the doctor he thanked God for the skills and knowledge the Lord blessed him with to bring healing to patients. I hope to be just half that outspoken to encourage others!
Emmalyn had a great day at the lake with her grandparents. One kind lady from our church was so encouraging when she told me her girls remember her battle with cancer as a time of fun, not sickness. They got to have lots of playdates and were pampered by others.
The plan for now is to take six rounds of a/c/5fu, which consists of a dose of all three, then a dose of 5fu a week later, a week off, then start over. I will get a little break before the baby is delivered, then I will take taxol, followed by radiation and tamoxifen after delivery.
Bro. Hugh gave a good sermon Sunday. He brought to mind Paul's battle with affliction in 2 Corinthians 12: 9,10...
And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9, 10 NASB)
Praise the Lord for His peace, His miracles, and His blessing of modern medicine!
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