Christmas Blessings

What a difference a year makes! My heart is light and I am so excited about Christmas! Stephen reminded me of last year, when we were just investigating "the lump". There were still so many scary unknowns, and I was sad about the baby we lost that would have been due in early January.

"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the Lord
for the display of his splendor." (Isaiah 61:1-3 NIV)

I want to write about these things to show the glory of the Lord and to encourage others. See what the Lord has done!

Last week, I received the call that my CT scan looked clear. It was a real encouragement for me. Realistically, I know the possibilities of microscopic cells floating around, but I feel as if I have been given a new lease on life. It is so easy to imagine all the terrible possibilities (I have had a year to do so) and was almost preparing myself for the worst, but the good report really gives me hope. I feel more relaxed and joyful.

I have the best Christmas blessings in my home. James is kicking and cooing and smiling at me as I type. He is absolutely precious! He is 16 weeks old today! And Emmalyn is so sweet and smart! She asks every day if it is Christmas yet, and if she can open presents. I made "snow" with corn starch and shaving cream, and she loves playing with it. She would love for it to really snow. We need to take that girl north! I can't believe she will turn 4 in one month!

I am preparing for radiation now. It will begin January 2nd. I have had two planning/ mapping scans this week, the second one after my doctor decided to assign me to their newest machine. It uses tomography and is more precise. It will hit less of the surrounding areas, like my lung. I have made the mold I will lay on each time. I just have to show up now! It will take about 30 minutes every day for 35 sessions. It all seems like a mad scientist's experiment! I am getting pretty accustomed to "exposing" myself, even as modest as I was before. It's just a fact of life now.  I will have to drive to Albany every day, and I am still trying to work out child care. I am eager to get started so that I can finish!

So far, I have felt okay with the tamoxifen. I have had a few hot flashes at night, but that's pretty much it. The neuropathy is about the same, but I don't really expect improvements for a few months.

As I have said, this Christmas I feel so blessed. I want others to know that as scary as cancer seems, the treatments are survivable! The doctors and nurses are very kind and make the process more bearable. This has been the quickest year! I am so grateful to have had my little buddy to go through the process with. James is a wonderful blessing! I am looking forward to a fresh beginning in 2013 (after radiation)!

It truly is a Merry Christmas! Peace has come!

"and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them. And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger." Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests." (Luke 2:7-14 NIV)