A Blink

One month old and not interested in pictures...

I had to title this post "a blink," because I blinked and I suddenly have a one-month-old, I am 30 years old, and I am a third of the way through chemo treatments!

James is growing so fast. We have a six-week checkup at the end of the week. I can't wait to see how much he weighs. He seems so much bigger, though we still get a lot of comments about how small he is; he's probably now the size of most newborns. I can't really tell who he favors. He is a good mixture. He regrettably doesn't sleep as much during the day, but he sleeps fairly well at night. He'll sleep four hour stretches between feedings at night. I switched to a gentle formula because he had a few rough days; the formula definitely seems to not hurt his stomach as much, and he is more settled. The poor little thing has baby acne and is going bald but he is still really cute! He is very alert and has such expressive eyes. He is a sweet little blessing!

September 25, 2012 marked my 30th birthday. It was a little bittersweet. No one imagines they will be going through cancer treatments when they are 30. I had a really sweet birthday dinner with family and a few friends. Stephen even got one of our favorite Christian artists, Aaron Shust, to record a birthday message and sing "happy birthday" to me. It was a fun surprise. I got a pair of leather Croc sandals I had been eyeing all summer and another charm for my necklace. I expanded my wardrobe, and I still have a little birthday money to spend when I get to a store one day! I am thankful for another year, and I hope to have many, many more birthdays!

I have had four of twelve weekly taxol treatments. My hair has not fallen out yet, which is a little surprising. I have gotten several compliments about my new short "do." It is easy to manage! I haven't really had any stomach issues. The main symptom that is setting in is neuropathy, tingling and numbness in the hands and feet. It may get progressively worse through treatments, and there is a chance it could be permanent. We have to keep it in check to  make sure my quality of life is not affected. It is just a little strange and annoying at this point. When I lie in bed, the soles of my feet feel like I walked on hot concrete. The tips of my fingers tingle as if they are "waking up" from falling asleep. I'm praying for a full recovery after treatment! The main difference between taxol and the chemo I took before is the way it is administered. Taxol can cause allergic reactions, so I am given Benadryl during treatments. I am loopy and have to sleep away the rest of the day. I hate that feeling! At least it is passing really quickly. I'll be done before I know it...which means Christmas will be here soon!

Our Cowgirl at Cowpoke

Our Cowboy

Emmalyn has been so sweet with James. She kisses him every time she walks by him, and she loves to hold him and hug him. She lets me know when he is crying (even when I am ignoring him on purpose!) She makes sure he is taken care of! She had a big day Saturday at the Cowpoke Carnival. She rode a horse, jumped in the castle, got her face painted, and ate cotton candy.  I surprised her Saturday night with a "unicorn dream light." She has been asking for one for a long time. She loves to go to bed now and see the stars shining on her ceiling. It is a good tool to make bedtime smooth! We are looking forward to visiting the pumpkin patch soon. She says she wants to be a dolphin for Halloween. I might have to be creative with a costume! We have trunks of treats and a carnival at church that is always fun. I love fall!

I am really grateful that I feel well. We got a very nice double jogging stroller with gift cards, and we have been going on walks lately. We are so blessed by the gifts for James and Emmalyn and all the meals. It is very nice to not have to worry about what's for dinner a couple days of the week. Our parents have been sweet to keep our kids when I go to treatments, too. I don't think they mind too much.

I'll leave you with the words of Aaron Shust's song, "My Hope Is In You"

I meet with You and my soul sings out
As your word throws doubt far away
I sing to You and my heart cries
"Holy! Hallelujah, Father, You're near!"

My hope is in You, Lord
All the day long, I won't be shaken by drought or storm
A peace that passes understanding is my song
And I sing my hope is in You alone

I wait for You and my soul finds rest
In my selfishness, You show me grace
I worship You and my heart cries 

"Glory! Hallelujah, Father, You're here!"

My hope is in You, Lord
All the day long, I won't be shaken by drought or storm
A peace that passes understanding is my song
And I sing my hope is in You alone

I will wait on You
You are my refuge
I will wait on You
You are my refuge

My hope is in You, Lord, all the day long
I won't be shaken by drought or storm
My hope is in You, Lord
All the day long I won't be shaken by drought or storm

A peace that passes understanding is my song
And I sing my hope is in You alone
My hope is in You alone, yeah
My hope is in You alone